I haven’t felt inspired to blog since we lost Granny just two short weeks ago. Although there have been some thoughts and ideas running thru my head, I haven’t felt highly motivated to do much of anything. That all changed, this morning when my husband and I “had words”. That’s a polite way of saying we disagreed.
First I have to give you a little background. Just prior to losing Granny, my husband lost a major client that will impact his monthly income negatively. Suffice it to say “in a major way”. In addition, with Granny’s passing we lost Granny’s SSI (which helped to keep our household running).
With this huge lifestyle change, hubby and I agreed that we were not going to be impulsive or do anything drastic to rectify the situation, BUT that we were going to fast and pray and trust God for our provisions. We are both licensed insurance professionals and with all that is coming out of the White House, you can imagine our uncertainty.
Combined with that decision, during Wed. church services our Pastor spoke about surrendaring and doing it God’s way, instead of our way. It was a message sent straight from Heaven and confirmed everything we were feeling. So, you may ask, why oh why, did we “have words”?
Well, lastnight just prior to bedtime, we discovered that our AC motor had burned out. Hubby got out there beside the house with flashlight in hand and tried to see if he could fix it knowing we really don’t have the extra money right now to call a repairman. No luck. I suggested we open the windows since the temps have been a bit milder than usual. (65-75 at night) Due to the humidity, hubby did not want to comply. Okay, well “suffer then” was my attitude. I’m not the one in the house who needs the AC as much as hubby does. So, we slept in separate beds and it remained at about 76 degrees (we usually keep it at 72) all night with 2 fans running.
This morning, it was beautiful! 65 degrees out and a tad bit breezy. My hubby canceled his plans to attend his cousin’s funeral. He was on a mission! He was in CRISIS mode!! He was determined he was going to fix that air conditioner! The whole while I was quiet, calm and subdued. I ran an errand to Walmart and then came home to go for a nice long walk. When I arrived home from Walmart hubby was working on AC. With walking stick and pepper spray in hand off I went for my neighborhood walk. Hubby called me while I was out stating he was going to call the repairman. “What??!!! We have _____dollars to our name that has to last until _____ and you are going to call a repairman? This is not the end of the world, Jerry! We can open the windows as I suggested, get ALL the fans going (we have three), keep lights, oven, dryer off etc; I thought you were the one that grew up poor, didn’t have AC blah, blah, blah”….
Well, you see where this is going. I reminded my hubby of how he gets when anything ever goes wrong. Even the computer. He’s got to fix it RIGHT NOW! He can’t wait! He will put all his plans on hold, no matter how important and will spend his last dollar to fix whatever has broken down! I just don’t understand it! I appreciate his desire, but don’t appreciate his impulsivity.
We ended our telephone conversation by me saying, “I’m not going to go round and round arguing with you about this. You are the head of our household, so do what you think you must do. But, you know my position on this. We can survive without AC for awhile. It won’t kill us.”
I then began to pray. The more I walked and the more I prayed the madder I got! Not at hubby. At that darned ole’ devil. Just this past Wednesday, after the message was preached, I had told my Pastor how mad I was at the way the enemy tries to sidetrack me when I’ve made a decision to trust God. This morning as I walked, I heard him say, “Ha, gonna trust God, huh? Yeah, right..well how about if I knock your AC out?” So many scenerios played out in my head as I talked to the Lord and walked.
WHAT IF, God wanted us to be without AC (and it wasn’t the devil), but in actuality God giving us an opportunity to lean on and trust in Him.
WHAT IF, it was His way of cutting our monthly expenses? Electricity will be much lower without AC now won’t it?
WHAT IF, God wanted to teach us about “waiting” or give us a lesson in patience while HE worked on our situation.
WHAT IF, we would be getting in God’s way, by calling the repairman? Maybe there was a bigger miracle or blessing coming down the road and God was “testing” us to see how we would respond or react?
When my hubby was trying to make his point about calling the repairman and I was trying to make mine about waiting, he asked me, “Are you willing to go three weeks without AC if we have to?” My response was an emphatic “yes!”
Well, long story short…hubby was sitting on the bench outside when I had returned from my walk and had not called anyone. We have had a nice day so far. Our home is dark, fans are running, windows are open and it’s 79 degrees outside and inside.
Disclaimer: Maybe there is nothing spiritual about this life event; but as a spirit filled Christian I choose to believe that we can search and learn from everything in life.