I had a brief chat with a 30 something yr old young man not too long ago and he said, “When I marry it will be for life. I will only marry once.”
Having lived a few more years than he had…and having experienced a whole lot more than he had – I was blown away by his naivety! This young man “presented” himself as a bible believing Christian (that’s a topic for another post)…
Naturally, having experienced the heartache of divorce more than once I was also quite offended by his comment. Politely, I replied “well, do you think it was ever my intention to marry more than once?” “Don’t you think that everyone who marries only intends to do it once?” “Do you really think that anyone goes into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce?” OMG!
No, ladies and gentlemen – I never intended for any of my children to come from a broken home – even if I did! And yet, 2 of my 3 children have experienced more than one divorce just like I have! As hard as I try to live right, do right and be a Godly example they still have to live their life and make their own choices, right or wrong. I hate that! I want them to learn from my mistakes, not to make their own. But, I truly don’t believe we learn much from watching others make mistakes and bad choices.
I learned my lessons much later in life. It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I began to see that I was the “common denominator” in a lot of my choices and that I was the one that needed to change – not them. That’s also when my prayers changed. Instead of praying “God make him the kind of husband I want him to be” it was “God, show me how to be the kind of wife you need me to be.” I know it seems simplistic and my prayers often involved more words than seen here, but you get my drift.
So, why do I post on this topic, you ask? Well, because I am witnessing the cycle continue. My grandchildren now come from broken homes!! My grandson, Kash is just one example. He will be 3 in Sept. He goes to Daddy’s for one week, then he’s at mommy’s for one week. He’s at daddy’s the entire month of July – not to see his mommy, his four other siblings or his Maw Maw. I miss him. But, more importantly, I’m sad for him.
No one really thinks twice about being from a broken home anymore. Do they even use that terminology anymore? It’s more the norm nowadays. So many couples just live together now without the marital contract and bring children into that world as well. If Hollywood says it’s okay then I guess it’s okay, right? NADA! I’m so sad about the direction our world is going.
I know some will call me old fashioned. Some will say what I desire is unrealistic. Some will even say that I’m living in the dark ages. I just hate that the cycle continues.